Oh yeah~ the third post aka the last week of June.
I talk a lot by the end of this one.
Thursday 25th 
Finally with my best friend after two weeks. We went for coffee & then for sushi. I looooved this outing so much!
Friday 26th
We finally had the double date with his friend & his gf.
Because how can the "spontaneous" that surprises me actually feel like it was well-planned beforehand? I only receive the surprise aspect which makes me feel excited like a kid. But... how was a dinner outing planned, especially on his day off (I had no idea about was his day off)? And at first I was like "wow -.- he never told me it's his day off" (yeah, I do feel unpleasant when I've got missing info) but then right after came the "dinner" & "stay over". Ok. I'sat.
I went to get some wax melts for his house & I was so excited for him to smell.
Then as I was waiting for him outside the metro station, a happy-looking junkie approached me saying he's a poet & he had his printed pamphlets asking for my name, commenting on my angel wings tattoo. He seemed to happy showcasing his artistry, I didn't wanna be rude & leave lol. Then my dad called me & I gave him the pamphlet back & he was showcasing the pages to me while I'd talk with my dad hahah. THEN my charismatic came & he saw all of this scene. I hung up on my dad & then the man asked my charismatic for his name & then asked us "When are you getting married?" & I was like "We're babies. We are too young for that" hahaha. What the... who makes such questions to 20 year olds??
Then we went to the restaurant & met up with his friend & his gf. Such a cute daaaate! hahaha I really enjoyed time with them a lot~
I can't believe he said about me "that's what she does, we go back home & she starts analyzing" or something along these lines. YES, I KNOW! I can never remember the exact words, I only remember the energy they held.
Saturday 27th
So finally we got to meet all three of us, my best friend & my other dear friend to go eat at the restaurant he works at. Anyway, my other friend also wanted to see him in person & eat from that famous restaurant. I won't mention her comments because... walls could have ears & could also talk~
When we got to the restaurant, there was no reserved table outside. The reserved table was inside... I asked for outside table, that's the thing! But actually, we did not mind at all coz it was hot outside & we indeed decided to sit indoors. I don't know if he arranged it like that...
Watching the Mundial from my 6s in the night.
Sunday 28th
Sunday Sunday~ Such a cute Sunday night~ We took a taxi home & why did it feel different good? I don't know.
I don't have much pics to post but let me just throw my thoughts in here.
Also, 20 years of Just My Luck! Of course it used to be my fave movie as my beloved McFly were in it. And so when we went to bed I wanted to listen to their song "Just My Luck". I also wanted to put one earbud in his ear for him to listen but I hesitated to do so. Why? Because when songs go like "I'm starting to fall in love, it's getting too much" Mel feels as if that's a confession from her side.
(Finished listening to the whole Withness album while writing the previous stuff & so I have to change track, you will get which one coz I need to get in the mood to write this)
God knows how brave I became. Embarrassed to the bone to let him know something that got born out of my fear & that bad dream I had. Yeah, I'm a human being, yeah, I'm afraid of losing him coz I cherish him. God,
The song...
Then he went on & put that song I'd listen to when we first started being together & I was still so insecure & long for him a lot. "More Love" is the song I'd listen to & cry my heart out, especially when he went for his trip & I thought it was over. You don't get it, I'd play this song in my earphones & just cry. It felt like you breath through the pain of longing of resolving whatever keeps you for loving more, if that makes sense. Such a vulnerable state to be at. So vulnerable healing through the person who's with you because they see the weakest, more embarrassing shit that existed in order for you to protect your heart. And these walls of fear collapse because you simply cannot hold back your love for them, even if there's uncertainty. Uncertainty stopped trying to define my life & so I trusted myself to let my heart, my expression define my life. More Love to oppose uncertainty.
It's funny coz I had found that song on my recommended, I don't remember him ever playing this song back then. And how come you put that song, mister? Did you also sense that my insecurity got in the surface that morning? Or did you also feel tense like I did coz your own fears from the past got in the surface as well through that?
It'd be an overthinking spiral for me but I.saved.me. & so I communicated it, imperfectly but I did it. When I show my insecure self, I usually wonder "Does he just keep up with me & so he stays... or does he purely love me like I do?".
Also one thing I resolved with myself is the melancholy I'd feel going back home from his house. It's all about me after all~ Not having stuff to look forward to back home was the thing. When I had stuff to do then no melancholy. Us was the interesting thing, but what about my life outside of us? Of course the environment at my house came to play as it's very very different. Like don't drain my energy, let me be by myself & re-calibrate. But it was also the fact that I had nothing to write down, no idea to develop, nothing to create, no work schedule, no reading something, no outings. Having something to look forward to. That tells you something.
That's it for June~
Lots of events & outings, I really like when life's like that.
Um... I wonder if my contents' percentage is more about my moments with him.
If it's about my moments with him, I mostly like to show my point of view & what insights I gain from our connection.
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