I freaked out & I gotta leave it here.Sunday 26th of November, alright?
I was searching for a song that I used to listen back in 2019 before I leave from Korea. I could never find it since... I had given up searching for good & had gotten over it.
But who put their hand tonight? Who lead me into finding it?
Mind you, a day before this month's full moon.
My father asked me something about my vlogs in Korea & we watched one at Starbucks. So coming back home, I was wondering how I'd make such content from my tiny iphone 6s. I filmed myself as I got back home & I loved how grainy it looked, how light it was in weight & I got the motivation to start making videos again.
Um, I have nothing to film by the way, I just have the urge of creating like I used to. I want to create!!!
BUT! I decided to check, spontaneously, a few of my 2019 vlogs. Mind you I was skipping so many scenes...
BUT THEN...
RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!!! THE TITLE OF THE SONG RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!
Why would I do that???
It's as if my past self knew I was gonna lose this song somehow & absentmindedly video recorded this moment in time...
My body's trembling. It brought back memories of me longing to come back to Greece but these memories are as not as strong anymore. Because what feels stronger is how it all works out...
And there is no fckin way I had a really deep talk in that video that truly resonates with me now. No way. No way I said "In the future when I watch this video I'm gonna say 'oh, another self!'". No way I also said "how much I miss 2008-2009" like I do now. Ok, also that scene took place two days before the full moon. Ok, I'm done.
✦
I've been through so many lives in this lifetime & right now it's a crazy transitioning period. One week ago feels like a different life too. Somehow my life might not seem active to someone outside or to me at all but inside of me it's passing by sooo fast. It's so fast, the way I might heal or realize patterns. I don't get many stuff that I'd do to bring my own self-potential down, it's like someone handed me some new knowledge, or a new brain. I swear I must be watching me from afar knowing my whole past & future, creating ideas in the present that my future self is in need of. Or already knowing my future without being conscious of it. What am I talking about? haha
I kindly stop now. I'm gonna continue freaking out in private.
ahhh i'm so happy you found the song, that's totally happened to me before and it's the worst feeling. I kinda feel similar about my life, like everything feels like it's happening so quickly and I see myself developing new interests and becoming a stronger person. It's scary that time goes so quickly but also comforting that I know I'm a stronger and happier person now!! Idk if it helps you but when I get too sad about missing the fashions of the past I just look at it like i'm getting a second chance now, bc i didn't get to fully embrace it as a teen. So now I get to experience those styles as a confident woman instead!!
ReplyDeleteFelt soooo sweet inside reading your comment <3 Thank you so much for sharing that here, I always appreciate it when someone also opens up. A second chance, exactly, so let's keep it all alive through our blogs!
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