Actually, there's not other way to say this.
I planned a trip for next autumn.
In 2008, I dreamed of living in a certain country, but life took me elsewhere close that I never planned or dreamed of, but not quite there. Most of my life has been revolving around two countries ...though I'm away from both. From one I have a holistic view; from the other, I wish I did~ I've found a city that matches my energy, but I still want to experience the central one I've longed for since I was a teen, just to see if it's truly for me.
However, I don't want to rely on a tourist permit for 2 years again, live without a safe space or without my cats.
I want to explore new places, feel new emotions, and gain deeper understanding and experiences.
Also the language thing is that what's the point of studying if you don't really get to practice it in real life? Goes for any language I've studied. For example even if it was for a short time & even if I was elementary level, german helped me a lot getting to feel comfortable in Switzerland.
That's it~ These were my thoughts~
It's not about what we want but what we believe for ourselves to deserve.
Which goes to say that it's up to our self-perception whether
we're going to limit or expand what we think is possible or attainable in life.
Been proven a lot of times, no matter the circumstances or the how.
Desire alone is not enough. Ok, you want, so what?
Be aligned. How?
Through self-examination on beliefs & mindset.
And then, with no doubt, you do know what you deserve.
So let's practice.
I believe I deserve a life that truly aligns with my desires & values, a place where I feel at home, secure, free to explore both physically & emotionally.
I deserve to experience the city I've dreamed of, not just as a visitor but with a sense of stability & peace. I deserve a safe space, the comfort of having my cats with me. I deserve a part-time job at a healthy environment where I get appreciated .
Ultimately, I deserve a life that feels whole & authentic, where I can explore new places and emotions, gain deeper knowledge, and fully express who I am.
Some pics from today taken with my camera.
btw, I'm not really into the style of The Rampage
(although I also loved their cover of Bow & Arrows)
Oh... a week before I find their cover, I had a dream where I was at a fancy bar & "Bow & Arrows" from Exile started playing & I was excitedly singing along haha
but Cyberhelix stuck on my mind.
Cute lyrics as well.
The affirmations at the end were lovely~ I love that you're speaking what you want into existence. I need to learn to speak more positivity into my life like you~
ReplyDeleteThank you <3 I'm also a work in progress, it's not easy to actually voice what you deserve or what you want. Deserve just gives off a stronger emotion.
DeleteI could just write those stuff to myself in a notebook or smthin but I do write them on my blog as I want to inspire whoever reads, so imagine how happy I got you said that. If I'm making it then we are all making it. Period.
I feel you on this. I did not expect to be having the life I have now when I was in high school. I imagined something entirely different. But it's always exciting to see what life has in store for us right? Also the language thing is another huge thing for me. I have been trying to learn Japanese for so long. The most I can do is try to stick to apps and use google translate on my blog to learn to understand and read. It's not working like i hope but at least I'm still trying XD
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing, I don't feel that alone when others tell me how they've been feeling about this.
ReplyDeleteThat's the thing, you're trying by finding a technique, whether it works all the way or not ;-; You know, at least some words could stick to your mind the more you use them. Or just writing the "key" words from a sentence, if that makes sense.